A Connor Q & A. My youngest has autism, my eldest is 12 and has anxiety. I thought I’d ask him some questions and tell him he should answer honestly.
So today, Connor has been downstairs all afternoon. He does spend a lot of his time up there and away from us.
Connor has tinnitus and anxiety and Sams unpredictable behaviour makes him understandably nervous. When Sam screams it is hell for Connor. Tinnitus means he has ringing in his ears and loud noises stay around long after they have stopped. Connor is the kindest most polite child I could wish for. Since he was a little boy he had a lot of empathy for others. If a child was hurt in the playground, he would check they were ok and tell a teacher.
He undoubtably has suffered the most through autism. He never knows how Sam will respond to him and has often questioned whether Sam loves him. ☹️ Sam does by the way.
Today, Connors been downstairs and Sam engaged with him and they have played really nicely. They even have a routine of ‘hugs, kisses & hi-five. That’s theirs alone and it’s gorgeous. So while they were playing today I jumped in the shower and got to thinking about how all of this affects Connor. Below are my questions and his answers.
Q1 How do you feel about Sam & his autism?
A: Strange, unpredictable, his screaming makes me really annoyed and confused because I don’t know why he screams. I like and don’t like his autism, he seems more fun with his autism & I don’t like it because he hits me sometimes unpredictably.
Q2: How do you feel about Sam and how does he feel about you?
A: Like & hate. Likes me. Hugs, kisses and hi-fives. Doesn’t like me because sometimes I annoy him and I don’t mean to annoy him.
Q3: Have you learnt anything by having autism in your family?
A: How hard it must be for him & how hard it has to be for us. I aware people are different.
Q4: If you could change anything about your family what would it be?
A: Make Sam be able to speak so we know what’s wrong. Make him be able to do everything a child his age should be able to do. Not get rid of his autism because that’s part of who he is.
Q5: You were 9 when Sam was diagnosed. How do you feel it changed your family?
A: Massive changes. I wouldn’t have as much attention as I would have if he hadn’t been diagnosed.
These answers 💞 he breaks my heart at how mature he is but makes me so proud of him at the same time. I think I’ll ask these questions again in a few years time and see how they differ.